Over Easter I ate too much chocolate. I struggled with everyone eating it around me. And once the sugar cravings hit I needed more. Besides the desperate need to get more sugar, there were a few things I noticed of interest. I felt awful, that's a fiveb, but my heart rate seemed to increase really quickly, and particularly at night I seemed to feel anxious. I didn't feel good mentally or physically. Despite these things it was so hard to stop. I know I don't want to feel like that. And I know what I have to do to stop it, but that "just one more" thought process, and the "I've already ruined today with x food" creep back in so easily. Day 1 back to strict, I ate chicken ranch bake and had an iced coffee. Sugar cravings weren't too bad but I expect it to get harder. I was so proud of myself for not caving to chocolate despite it being in the house. I felt so much better instantly. That was unexpected. Thought I'd need to eat twice as I've been eating two or 3 times a day so it was great to be able to have just one meal. Heading to bed on night one, I was much more relaxed. I fell asleep more easily and I stayed asleep much better. Day 2 I was able to weigh in. I was shocked I've put back on 5kg over the Easter period, well close to 2 weeks. That's definitely extra motivation to be super strict. I woke up really tired today despite having a good night sleep and I've been headachey too. It's hard to tell if that's related to getting back to strict keto or if it's chronic pain related. I suspect mostly pain related given I was away and out of my routine over Easter. I resisted buying any fruit when I went to the markets today and only bought ingredients for this super tasty salad of cucumber, avocado, cherry tomatoes, danish fetta, salt, pepper and lemon infused olive oil. Today I've noticed how greasy/oily my face is. Hoping this clears up as I progress Day 3 continued in much the same way as day 2. I stuck to one meal, didn't experience any cravings for sweets. And I'm feeling much better in myself. I didn't have any anxiety trying to fall asleep. My sleep wasn't as good but that's because the physio went 10 rounds with my back and my cat was being a serial pest. Today's lunch was chilli con carne with butter, konjac rice, sour cream and cheese. And I made a salad, courtesey of my sister's recipe of cucumber, cherry tomatoes, avocado, danish fetta, salt, pepper and lemon infused olive oil. Trust me this is one you want to try. Another positive effect I've noticed is that my teeth feel much cleaner. No fuzzy feeling, no build up of plaque. It amazes me how quickly the positive effects can be noticed. Day 4, as I mentioned my sleep was less than ideal thanks to said cat and physio, but that isn't keto related. I weighed myself this morning and after 2 days I'm already down 1.9kg. I agree you shouldn't weigh yourself every day but for me, when im trying to get back into it seeing this helps keep me motivated. This early it's all most likely water weight but I'll take it. I was meant to go out to dinner so had planned to have just an iced coffee during the day to tide me over, and brought no lunch to work. Those plans had to be rescheduled so I was stuck without any food. I decided a kebab was the way to go, so I got a kebab minus the bread. Sour cream as the sauce, grated cheese, and lettuce and tomato. Great take away option. Day 5 I've been very lucky so far and haven't had any side effects of getting back to being super strict. I was definitely expecting some. Things you can expect include keto flu, headaches from sugar withdrawal, getting diarrhea as your body readjusts to having an increase in fat. I'll talk a little more about the anxiety I was getting falling to sleep while I wasn't being strict on my keto. My heart rate was rising, I felt stressed and I couldn't switch my mind off. There wasn't anything specific on my mind, I just couldn't unwind. It was taking me hours at times to get to sleep. My quality of sleep was hugely effected. Last night was a night where I did have things on my mind and I took a little longer to fall asleep but more like half an hour than 2 or 3 hours. At no point did I feel like my heart rate was high. I put this completely down to sugar. Day 6 and I'm down 3.4kg since Wednesday. This is such good motivation. I was afraid to weigh this morning because I didn't get to eat until 5pm yesterday and for me, eating later in the day/having dinner rather than lunch is a sure way to put on weight. As part of this weekends massive cook up to restock my freezer, I made keto chocolate truffles to take to work for morning tea Thursday. It's my teams turn to host and given there is never anything sweet I can have when it's other teams turns I always bring something sweet I can eat. I was really proud of myself for only having 2 truffles. It took willpower to stop there but I did. Funny though, I think that having something sweet resulted in a spike in anxiety levels and heart rate in the afternoon. It's evening as I write this and I'm feeling much calmer and ready for bed soon, but it's interesting to note how much effect the small amount of sugar in the small amount of 70% chocolate I consumed has. Day 7. After having some chocolate yesterday I put on 400g. I think it's probably partly the chocolate and partly natural fluctuation. This is why you shouldn't weigh every day. But it's addictive. How did today go? Well I'm glad I strayed from the usual plan to eat at lunch and had some Vegemite scrolls at breakfast time because I was so busy at work I couldn't take a lunch break or even eat my lunch. This led to giving in to temptation though. I got a delivery from low carb emporium and it contained some vitawerx white and milk chocolate and I had to try it. Not my best decision given I was quite hungry. At least it's very low carb for chocolate (9g per 100g so I don't feel as guilty). Reminder I'm not perfect and reminder that making decisions about food when you're hungry is often a bad idea. Back to it tomorrow. Don't think I'll weigh again until Thursday though. Day 8. Ok so I caved, no surprises there and as I thought day 2 in a row where I put on weight. My aim is to weigh tomorrow and Thursday and then back to once a week. Weight gain today has given me that extra motivation to be strict today. 700g on since yesterday. I expect today I'll be extra hungry given I didn't get to eat properly yesterday and definitely didn't have enough fat. My salad was gross from the day before so I only had half my lunch. And yep it was a hungry day. So I had a kebab for dinner. Two meals in a day is rare for me, and I hate it, but I also need to listen to my body. I had this empty feeling in my stomach and I knew if I didn't have something proper to eat I would succumb to more temptation, so a kebab it was. A kebab is a great take away option, it's meat, salad and cheese. Often sour cream is an option too. Delicious and pretty compliant Day 9. So I put on another 400g. But I'm still down 2kg in the week so it's a massive win. Definitely going to weigh once a week from now. We had morning tea at work today put on by my team. One of my colleagues made a zucchini slice that was all compliant so there would be more I could eat. I appreciate that so much. And it was delicious. I had some of the truffles I made and they were delicious too. And cheese, mmmm the cheese. That was enough to get me through until dinner time where I went out with my visiting parents. I had roast with veggies, but as with most eating out there wasn't enough fat, so I never felt satisfied. I caved to a bit more chocolate, but with about 1g carbs I didn't feel too bad (the vitawerx chocolate is so great and so low carb). Day 10. Some days you're hungry so you eat, but eating makes you more hungry. Today is one of those days, and it's super frustrating. I wanted breakfast (which works well because I'll be having a really late dinner with my parents), so I went for a sausage and egg McMuffin from maccas, minus the muffin (when you're keto long enough you stop worrying about the weird orders where you remove an item that's in the very name of the food), with an extra sausage patty. Makes the perfect sandwich right? Well they brought it out with two sausage patties on the bottom *facepalm* really? Today was a bad day for keto. I was hungry all day and so I just grazed. Had some pork scratchings, some cheese balls, cheese, iced coffee. Then at night cheese and cucumber. And I succumbed to temptation when offered a donut. Not a good day. Back to it tomorrow though. Day 11. Made an amazing scrambled eggs dish for breakfast. Bacon, mushrooms, avocado, cherry tomatoes and danish fetta with fresh parsley. Could definitely do with some more fat. Had breakfast today because I knew we wouldn't be eating again until 7 or 8pm So I will stop writing daily. It's Thursday and weigh in day. I've been less than perfect, and in fact I haven't even been close to how strict I wanted to be. But the results were that I've stayed at a 2kg loss so I'm happy with that. Week 3, and overall I've been reasonably good. I've been much closer to keto. I had some compliant chocolate on the weekend. Cooked my own meals except for Friday night and Wednesday lunch time when I went out with friends. Monday to Wednesday were no sweets, one meal a day. Weigh in day and I've put back on half a kg. Not a devastating amount but not the result I hoped for. I felt like I've worked really hard this week but not hard enough. This getting back on track thing is hard and the falling off is not worth it (I already knew this but man is it a rough reminder). Looking back over this week and my downfall has been sweet potato. I've definitely had too much of it. I had some that needed to be used. I thought I would use it when my parents were here and I didn't. With not tracking macros I've very obviously overdone it. Lesson learned. That's definitely out for a while. This week is going to be hard given I'm interstate for a wedding and lots of things will be out of my control. I will give it my best though. My exception is going to be a piece of wedding cake So that wasn't the exception on that trip. It's a sharp reminder of how addicted I am. I went so so off the rails and it's now July. I've had a massive kick up the bum and am going hardcore at getting back on track. Prior to first of July I had been doing ok, but it's seriously so hard. I got back up to 89kg again. A place I never wanted to be. As of last week my mental state has been reset and I'm feeling much much stronger. I've got this. A friend is back on keto and helping keep me on track. I need this. Between the 1st July and 9th July I lost 3.4kg. Over the next two weeks I'll be working my butt off to see how much weight I can lose. I want to get back below 80kg in that time. I have a serious point to prove. It's amazing what a scare and some seriously good motivation can do for you. I'll keep you updated on how I'm going.